WOULD YOU DUMP YOUR DOG IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GAY?
Carolina’s hoochie poochie man
A man has abandoned his dog because he says ‘it is gay” after spotting it humping a stray mongrel.
Eh?
Yep, that’s right … a man in North Carolina says his dog is gay. And now its in the doghouse.
Literally!
Fezco, a five year old, 25 kilogram pooch of indiscriminate background, was hauled in to the Stanly County Animal Protective Services in Albemarle, about 40 miles east of Charlotte, by its owners.
They were apparently in a state of shock after catching Fezco at it with a ‘ four-legged friend’.
Now the shelter is desperately trying to find him a bit of a more liberally-minded family to give him a new home.
Their endeavours were hampered however by the fact that Facebook posts about Fezco had to be taken down because of homophobic and negative comments!
Yep, people took the time out of their mordant little lives to have a go at a dog got a bit cocky. Maybe they wanted to throw it a bit of wood themselves.
I know the Carolinas very well. As a writer I spent time there and loved it, whitewater rafting on the French Broad River, visiting the VanderbBilt Estate with its garden in its lounge, the haunted bridges of Winston Salem, the foghorn voice of the giant animated bull at Durham stadium and getting on my bike in Raleigh.
But it is a macho society there, particularly if you live on the outside of town. In this part of the Deep South, cars are winched in to the boughs of leafy trees and road signs are shot full of holes for a tourists.
The men drive over-the-top under-powered trucks and their women – instead of being in the kitchen, perfectly at home, home on the range – are down the bars drinking all the beer.
So, here’s the big question… what really made this Mr Macho even think his dog might be gay?
Had it slipped up when humping one of his legs – had it gone too far? What a bummer that would be!
Was it cocking a snook at his red-neck society – or did it just want to go dogging?
The thing sniffing round man’s best friend – yes the dog, nothing else thank you – is totally natural behaviour in so many camps of the animal kingdom.
They’re just having a laugh (unlike you Mr My Dog’s Gay). It’all part of normal play behavior for animals. And they do it … well … because they like it.
Simples.
Homosexual behaviour has been confirmed in more 1,500 animals types. They include elephants, giraffes, dolphins, penguins, Japanese macaque monkeys and lions, according to PETA.
Male penguins in long-term relationships have been seen at London Zoo and at Central Park Zoo.
So, may we just say to the Carolina’s hoochie poochie man, please be careful when you go on the pull that you don’t p-p-pick up a penguin.
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