DO YOU THINK THESE’LL FIT ON MY NEW BIRTHDAY BARBIE, HARRY?
They blasted canons over her head, idiot grandson Harry dripped sweetness like a cracked coconut, Britain’s secret party-going politicians paid their fines and waved ‘yoohoo’ to her. And The Queen posed with two white horses and had some egg-nog.
And then they gave her a Barbie doll!
Well, at 96 when you’re not well, grieving for your husband, your son forked out a fortune to get away from the biggest sex scandal in years, you’re watching your family go up in the smoke of rumour, Buck House is looking a bit dingy and let’s face it, people no longer view it as the home of pageantry and pomp…
No, Buck House is little more than a big old knackered looking grace-and-favour city centre house by the side of one of the busiest junctions in the UK. And it’s full of blokes with guns and horses wearing what looks like Marge Simpson’s hair-do, but not in blue.
But don’t worry about our Queen though!
No! Harry – whose hair and beard are becoming to look more and more like a fluffy balaclava – is on the case…
And he’s pledge to protect Liz.
Yes, the 96th birthday of Queen Elizabeth is marked by the boom of war, a rest at Windsor, a drama, a doll and a doleful d*!k who is offering protection like a sneaky blinder.
So, let’s save parades and big bashes for June as we look forward to our longest-serving monarchy’s ceremonial birthday and Platinum Jubilee.
And all we have to say, at The Society, is let’s get it right this time. She deserves more than this.
In fact, next time you throw some thick Irish sausages on the barbie, think of Lisbeth sitting on the throne playing with hers!
And she can you know! It has a miniature tiara based on Queen Mary’s Fringe Tiara – worn by The Queen on her wedding day.
There are also medallions on ribbons inspired by the Royal Family Orders.
Barbie wears an elegant ivory gown with a swish blue sash and comes in a Buckingham Palace box.
The toy makers say it is to celebrate “the Queen’s extraordinary reign has seen her lead with duty, humanitarian efforts and a life of public service, unifying the nation in celebration, reflection, and community.”
Maybe Harry would like to play with it too!
It might give the self-obsessed, bonehead something to think about rather than inflicting more pain on his family.
Is the Guchi-shoed man mad? “I’m here to make sure she’s protected and got the right people around her,” he simpered in his latest Press junket despite hating the Press more than his close family.
What an insult to his father and brother who have actually dedicated themselves to their duties.
And then there are the staff who protected Her Majesty when Covid struck.
What can you do Harry? What did you do Harry?
Well, I suppose you could really show support for your grannie by helping her dress Barbie in the doll’s house world of deceit, anger, recriminations and silliness the Royal household has become.
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