IS BORIS FUELLING HIS CAR-CRASH RETURN BY A CLAMP ON FORECOURT SWINDLERS?

• Average price of a litre of petrol at UK forecourts reached 185p
• Average price of diesel also reached 190.9p
• Filling up a family car hit £100 for first time in UK

Do you know, Britain’s home fires are still burning – but in these, the cyber-technic Noughties, they are incandescent with shock, horror and fear.

SHOCK that our lying politicians – like bouffanted buffoon Boris and that simperingly limp lawman Sneer Starmer – partied while the rest of us sweated, vegetated and wasted away in the gently settling detritus of our coronavirus prison homes.

Two years of living locked away like we were kow-towing to Maggie’s Protect and Survive pamphlet on how to live in a nuclear war … it was a dress rehearsal rag.

And a red rag to those of us whose lives had been burned down to the ground by an incendiary little blobby greasy bug.

Talking of blobby greasy bugs, there is always the HORROR of the blobulous, snake-eyed monster man … the man who was even willing to lose Moscow’s McDonald’s franchise so that he could see his final days out wiping a neighbour off the face of the Earth over a boundary dispute.

And as he contemplates his naval – and his army and his air force – we wait with growing FEAR that Mr Put-it-in will press his nuclear belly button and simply f*rt the world away in a Red cloud of stinking air and trembling haemorrhoids…

Talking of f*rts – Boris is actually pumping up the volume on that other major thing that’s putting the wind up us too!

Fuel prices…

Boris and his fellow buffoons are thinking about setting a “pumpwatch”. Yep, a pump watch! They’re not ‘f*rting’ about are they!

No, in fact the scheme will target the absolute ar*oles who are swindling drivers on the forcourts.

It will point drivers to cheap petrol stations and avoid the twisted rip-off merchants.

Boris Johnson’s official spokesman said: “We are looking at all possible options and transparency may have a role to play in that.”

Transparency may have a role to play?

Well, that’s some ground-breaking statement from a Boris bozzo eh? Tranparency…

The move comes after twisted, uncaring petrol stations failed to pass on the 5p fuel duty cut.

And now, petrol has made its biggest daily jump in almost 20 years.

It now costs me an £129 to fill up my diesel saloon – and apparantly Downing Street is furious that garages are ‘taking the p*ss …’

Petrol stations have only passed on around half of the 5p fuel duty cut to hard-pressed motorists.

The Pumpwatch option is a website where drivers can look at a map showing them the average price for petrol and diesel in every town.

This would be run by the Competitions and Markets Authority.

Well, let’s keep our fingers crossed that this Shocky Horror Show we are all have bit parts in will soon play to the world and we are given all the transparency we deserve in our journey through democracy and downright lies.

#FUEL #DIESEL #PETROL #PUTIN #BORIS #STARMER #CLAMP #FARTS #WAR #WORLD