2022! It’s all good – Andrew is non-sweaty, Britney is free and there’s a new call to arms… hohoho!
It’s been a funny year, 2021 hasn’t it. Well, when I say funny I mean there’s not been much to laugh at … apart from Stumbling Joe, Boris the Buffoon, Andrew the non-sweaty *rseole, Mad Max from France, that big f*rt Trump, and that very nice Mr Put-it-in-to-the-Ukraine-and-the Western-world who we lived just around the corner from for a while.
Oh. what a world we live in.
I couldn’t warm to those glue-eared insulation protesters either! Could you? They went home for Christmas, you know, but promised to be back soon… Ear! Ear!
And what about all those jab-bering Facebook fools who who complained about all those little pricks that still could save the world.
Still, no ‘arm done eh boys and girls!
And what about all those social media gloaters who stared blindly at all those bodies washing up on British beaches – they didn’t care that the majority of them had paid a fortune to conmen criminals to cross from France in plastic colanders to start a new life away from terror.
Disgusting!
And what about our embassies? A lot more about them later – suffice to say, if you’re a Brit abroad don’t go to the embassy for help. Oh No!
The poor luvs are working from their armchairs in their middle-class homes and have Loose Women to watch, dogs to walk, cups of tea to drink … and a totally useless pointless website to refer you to!
Ask the Afghan translators they dumped all over Afghanistan.
We’ll tell you our own embassy horror story soon.
What about the coppers who superimposed their faces on to dead girls? What about the copper who killed a young wife? What about Cressida? Is she really a Dick – or does she really not care what’s happening on her watch?
Oh! And what about electric cars eh? Have you tried them? Shimmying down the road inside a big bulbous vibrating dildo… smells like Ozone tho, nothing like diesel and spicy sex. And when your new little car begins to go a bit flaccid cos its batteries are going flat like a good old-fashioned rubber tyre what do you do? You plug it in! That’s what you do! Plug it in for a day or so and go and watch sofa ads on a smart telly!
Just like an embassy worker. Embassy? Ah! Consulate! (Very, very, very old joke, sorry)
But don’t get me wrong – some really good things happened in 2021 too!
Britney got freed and China announced that giant pandas had been taken off the endangered species list.
And Oprah’s interview with Meghan and Prince Harry showed them up to be the completely pointless tits they are … and Squid Games appeared on our screens!
Brilliant and good and bad and ugly year.
All the best
Have a good one … Leigh and Andrea xxx