In my life, I have met many narcissists and, to a man and woman, they were all talented, charming, attractive, witty, intelligent and ambitious.
Narcissists even walked beside me in what should have been the fairytale of my formative years.
They gently held my hand and purported to teach me how I should act on the manufactured stage of sand and badly painted backdrops they set before me…
… All the world’s a stage, I began to believe.
But I became convinced that the only truth in the script of life is a mesmerising swirl of lies.
***
In my late 30s, I was devastated to discover the new narcissist in my life was, in fact, a serial love cheat. She later spent a decade abusing me on the phone over why our great affair had ended so badly.
I didn’t change my number because I felt there might be a glimmer of truth in her gaslight.
Then I had a lasting relationship with another who made me believe she was vulnerable and broken. The tough fact was she only wanted to get married and have children so she could divorce me and steal my 19th century country cottage.
In my 50s, I went in to business with another narcissist – I thought he was my best friend.
But a narcissist can never be your best friend. He can only be his own.
***
I have to say I have always known about narcissism – at least I knew of its origin in Greek mythology … a young Narcissus fell passionately in love with his own image in a pool of water.
For him there could be no other.
What I didn’t know though, is that it narcissism means grandiose self-importance in a fantasy world of delusions. It means a desperate need for praise and admiration. It means a sense of entitlement and exploitation without guilt or shame.
It also means intimidation, bullying and the belittling of others.
In business it manifests itself in people who genuinely believe that the whole world owes them.
Today, after another day of accidentally ending up swimming with sharks, I have started to see narcissism in this way … it is like a twisted marriage which never gets beyond ‘what’s yours is mine…’
#narcissists #liars #sharks #toxic #parentalalienation