Author: Andrea Martin-Banks

2021, the year of freedom? The virus of pain for our children

2021, the year of freedom? The virus of pain for our children

BY GUEST WRITER ANDREW JOHN TEAGUE

There are many things the last year of lockdown has exposed:

   Children’s mental health and awareness  is affected by Covid-19.

             Lock-down is affecting family life in general

             Such a small bug can bring most of the world to its knees.

             Domestic violence is up because of lock-down.

             Child abuse went up as families were forced into lock-down.

Yes, we now have to look at this brave new world with a different set of eyes.

But what else do we learn?  So many things, I guess … climate control and how clean the air has become.

Black lives matter … but we should be also looking at the fact ALL lives matter. Yes it is a new world! Clear vision, 20/20 vision.

But don’t forget this world is made up of different sections, different beliefs and  different people. Yep, that’s what we have all around the world.

Difference.

But while all this happening, never ever forget the children … the real heart of the matter.

We must also spend time helping and supporting  parents, grandparents  and all other family members.

#dedicatetoeducate.  dedicate  educate  something  we all have to open our hearts to.

D.A.D.s and NAAP are sectors dedicated to educating a system. And there are various sectors of this system too. There are the obvious – judges, CAFCASS, social workers, lawyers and barristers.

Then there are others – psychologist, schools and experts.

The emotional and psychological harm that children are put through because of the family court process  causes lifelong trauma. 

Stay with me, the reason for this article will  become clear.

Covid-19 has shown us how children’s mental health is suffering. The  NSPCC has  recently  stated that  there has been a quadrupling in contact from children due to  stress and anxiety.

 Children out of school for almost 14 weeks children and they have also been kept away from family members and their friends.

All this and more because of a  tiny virus.

Lessons to be learned: Isolation. 

It’s certainly not good for the children’s mental health and well-being. We hear of the concerns by others, some involved in the family courts. 

Children are being forced  away from, not just one parent, but a whole half all the family unit.

Well, what we can tell you is that there are an array of  issues relating to mental health and well-being of children because of the  inappropriate behaviour of parents  and the failure of the lower courts.

It certainly seems that for decades it was easier to ignore than it was to learn the lessons.

Often these words are used and I’ll quote; ‘We are sorry, we learn the lessons … ‘ The famous words used by Social Services.

Sadly, these words are normally used after a serious incident involving children or young adults – death, serious injury, serious failings. But do they learn the lessons?

Sadly, not very often.

Yes, Covid-19 is here and it is showing us that lessons have to be learned.

A single child being used as a weapon, a pawn, leverage, whatever, in the family courts will certainly be emotionally and psychologically harmed.

Look at a single child who has been indoctrinated (brainwashed), denigrated , suffered adultification for a period of three months … well, it could take an expert three to six months to even begin to get a child to feel comfortable again. Enough to speak truthfully at least.

Children’s minds are being warped and twisted. 

What is very interesting is no one has mentioned just how important schools are when children are going through post-separation. In many cases the safety net for these children is the school.

And teachers,  it doesn’t take Einstein realise children are in despair.

2020, a Clear Vision – let’s make this a time to join together an address ALL  problems.

The future is our children!

A child should be allowed to dream, have fantasies, think about what they want to be when they grow up. They should be full of joy and happiness.

Dedicate,  educate –  something we know will take time but at least we are looking  to the children’s future.

Unless there is risk of significant harm, then children  should share time with both parents, with both family members.

How traumatic is it for a child? How psychologically abusing is it for a child being forced to choose?

The non-accidental psychological injury of a child/children is abuse. Parental alienation is abuse. The child-splitting is abuse. The courts should not tolerate it!

But, sadly, we find the courts actually promote and reward it.

If the injuries were visible would they tolerate it? Certainly NOT!

WE’VE DONE IT! WE’VE FOUND THE LOST SHOW!

WE’VE DONE IT! WE’VE FOUND THE LOST SHOW!

The long and the short of it is this … last year we did a two hour show with Maria Kyriakou and Ralph Ripley Hall, former musicians with the Halle Orchestra, the Birmingham Philharmonic and many orchestras across the world. They are true expats, having lived in Iceland, Germany, Slovakia and so many other places on the globe.

They certainly hit the right note with us … then things went a bit flat!

In the change from a little station to bigger things, including ROKU, AirTV International and Netflix, we lost the show … vanished into the ether apparently, never to be seen or heard again!

We searched desktops, files and ‘brains’. But it was gone, demised, dead.

Then a few weeks ago – I heard a cry from the office… it was Andrea sounding like Snoz Durante: “I done it! I found the lost show!”

Well that struck a chord!

It took a bit to put it all back together again – but it was worth it! They are fascinating, honest and funny people. It’s worth two hours of listening.

More radio show to come here

I thought Bob’s song was about having a cup of coffee that’s all, admits Tom Jones

I thought Bob’s song was about having a cup of coffee that’s all, admits Tom Jones

Jeff Slate is a New York City musician and writer. He has kindly shared part of a recent interview with Tom Jones with us:

JEFF SLATE: In my mind, as a singer, it sounds as though you’re saying you hear music differently. It sounds to me as though, if you can do those on a first take, that they’re already in your DNA. You’re not interpreting them. They’re part of you already. It sounds as though it’s more heart and soul than it is thought.

TOM JONES: Yes. You’ve got to learn it. You’ve got to get it in you. You don’t even necessarily have to sing it, but you’ve got to know it. That’s it. And sometimes, I’ll say, “Let me just hear the chord changes,” and I know where the song is going. Like the Bob Dylan song. If you listen to his version, he’s doing it very Spanish, because he’s talking about when he went to a gypsy camp. He just wrote down what he saw, this beautiful girl with a sweet breath and the long hair. He’s painting a picture of this girl, and her father, who was the boss of the gypsy camp. He takes in all this stuff. Well, once I heard it, I got the picture. But I’m not going to copy what he’s done. I just need to know where the chords are going. Because, to me, the song is really having a cup of coffee.

Jeff Slate

Now, he might have given this girl one – he might have had sex with her before – and there could have been a valley below. And he might have been up on a mountaintop or something. But for me, it was having a big cognac, because I love cognac, with a cup of coffee and a Cuban cigar.

That’s the combination. Because, as you know, if you’re a drinker, when someone says, “We’ll have another one.” “Oh, I don’t know whether I should have another one, because I’m going to get a fucking hangover tomorrow,” that’s the valley below to me. So, the picture I got in my head, of course, is this beautiful girl, and I’m looking at all this shit taking place, but I’m also sort of thinking about it and having this big cognac with a cigar and the cup of coffee, so let me just have another one of those before I got to go to sleep and wake up with a fucking head.

You know what I mean? That’s the valley below. That’s what I see. So, I’m always seeing something when I’m singing the song.”